Monday, March 31, 2008

back from vacation

And we had a blast, although it was sort of an ups and downs week. The great things were times of GREAT fellowship. Phillip and Jamie (the couple we stayed with and very dear friends of ours) took us to the Creation Museum, sponsored by Answers in Genesis. What a treat that was! It really was packed out though, being spring break week and all. I was able to pick up Passionate Housewives Desperate for God at the museum gift shop. I've been wanting it, but I've been putting it off. Jamie also took me to this lovely and beautifully feminine tea room called Tea Roses. That, to me, was almost as good as the Creation Museum! Jeremy asked me how the tea room was and I got all excited and said, "oh, we had tea with our own decorative tea pots and ate little sandwiches and quiche and soup...I just loved it...You would have hated it!" It's not a place you'd want to take husbands.

The down parts of the vacation was that we had to take Ethan to the emergency room at Mercy Anderson Hospital while we were in Cincinnati. I forgot his Albuterol for his nebulizer and his chest closed up tight as tight could be. When we took him to the ER, he was really literally writhing in pain and crying. I felt so sorry for him. But the ER saw him right away and got him fixed right up. They were home in just and hour and a half.

The other bad news...the worst news really, was that I started having trouble carrying my unborn while we were there. We drove home Friday the 28th from Cincinnati while I was still having trouble. I don't want to get too graphic, so we'll say that I had something scary happen that night and Jeremy and I went to the ER at Sacred Heart in Pensacola. After sitting there for ever and ever, they finally took me back, and did an ultrasound. My hormone levels from my blood work were good. Though I was at 11 weeks, the baby only measured 6 weeks 4 days and they couldn't find a heartbeat. They sent me home with a diagnosis of "threatened miscarriage" and orders to stay off my feet. I was in the ER for 6 hours, had driven from Cincinnati, and had not slept in ages. I was exhausted. With in 15 hours I was having trouble again. There was no mistake that I was miscarrying. My blood work showed this time that my hormone levels were way down. Another ultrasound showed that my miscarriage was incomplete and I was told to follow up with my OBGYN. Unfortunately, she's on vacation. The nurses at her office said that I could go back to the ER. I am so not willing to do that and I asked if it was okay for me to continue the miscarriage on my own. The nurse said as long as I'm not hemorrhaging and I can manage the pain (which has been difficult) that I can complete the miscarriage on my own.

I think I new in my heart that when I stared having trouble last week that the Lord had already taken my sweet baby up to heaven. Miscarriage has always been one of my biggest fears. I didn't know how I would handle it. I am looking on the positive though...most of the time. My wee baby will never carry the burden of sin. When (s)he stands before God in judgment, he'll be able to say that he is a sinner because he was made of flesh, but that he never committed sin. He'll never have to deal with sickness or pain...or a spanking! When I think about these things I cry tears of joy. I just ask for prayer as I continue my miscarriage, because it's hard to go through.

And said, Naked came I out of my mother’s womb, and naked shall I return thither: the LORD gave, and the LORD hath taken away; blessed be the name of the LORD --Job 1:21

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