Wednesday, April 2, 2008

Thank God for Friends

Thank you, Lord, for a good day yesterday. It didn't start out as a good day. I was so upset and was a weeping, crying mess. But you brought it to memory, Lord, that Melissa said that she'd to "anything," if she could. I needed fellowship. Thank you so much for good friends who care. Thanks for friends who don't mind taking time out of their day to see how your doing. Thanks for friends who don't mind if I cry and friends who remember the pain and can cry with me. Thank you for my church who I know is praying for me. Thanks for the phone calls and well-wishes. Thanks especially for Melissa, who brought over lunch yesterday...complete with drinks and dessert. She lost a baby last year. She knows how it feels. Thanks especially for Christy too, Lord, who brought over a gift yesterday too, just to show that she was thinking about me and praying for me. She's been there too, having lost two. Most of all, Lord thanks for You! Even after the friends left, You were still there. You were there last night, when my mind started to wander. When I started to think about what may have been, You reminded me to leave it to You. Thanks for Your Word. What a strong tower it has been. There I am reminded that "He hath done all things well." What a comfort that I don't have a "high priest which cannot be touched with the feeling of my infirmities." Also, Lord, I know that "God is our refuge and strength, a very present help in trouble." I think also of Mary, when Lazarus died. What a comfort that when Jesus saw Mary's weeping that he actually "groaned in His spirit, and was troubled" and then the next Bible verse, "Jesus wept." Through tears of pain, thank you Lord for continuing to bring me through this. I've never been through something this difficult, but as your carry me through it, I see what a mighty God you are. You truly are the Father of mercies, and the God of all comfort.

The only other think I ask for myself is that I don't want a D&C or anything close to it. I want it all to be already taken care of. If You see fit for me to go through that, I'm really going to need You...big time. Please give me courage to face it...and lots of it. I don't like doctor-y things.

Lord, please continue to help my husband and children through this. Even the children were excited about another baby. They would tell every stranger that "Mommy has a new baby in her tummy." Ethan especially. He's just three, but he knows that God has taken his new baby to heaven. His tears are just as real as mine. I can't make him accept it. Give me wisdom as a mother to know how to deal with the situation. Jeremy, too. It's his baby just as much as mine. Help him to know what an amazing husband he is. Touch him and comfort him, just as you've done me. John also, Lord. He's been very quiet about the matter. You know his thoughts.

Every day I feel a bit better. On my own, I am weak. Only through You I can be strong. I didn't go to church Sunday because my miscarriage was not complete and I was still in a lot of pain. I feel good about going tonight. Please stay everyone from rushing up to me and giving a lot of condolences. I know they care, but it just makes it harder. I don't want to cry. But if everyone does make much of the matter, help me to be graceful and meek. Guide my thoughts and steps. Thank you for everything, Amen

The name of the LORD is a strong tower: the righteous runneth into it, and is safe. --Proverbs 18:10

1 edifying expressions:

mummynat said...

I am thinking of you from over the waters. As you know i delt with this (and some hospital help :( ) a while back. I don't know if i can say it gets easier, but it gets different, and you cope, and you hug your babies you have, and your husband, and breath them all in. And you become thank full.