Wednesday, July 27, 2011

Only a Southerner

Some "Southern pride" things tend to irritate me. However, my mother-in-law sent me this email and I just thought it was adorable. It reminded me of a post Sarah did some months back, talking about "You Know You Live in Ireland When..." Anyway, I'll share some excerpts and maybe it'll bring a smile. All of these portions of the email are ones that I personally relate to. :-)

  • Only a Southerner knows the difference between a hissie fit and a conniption fit...and that you don't "have" them, you "pitch" them.
  • Only a Southerner knows how many fish, collard greens, turnip greens, peas, beans, etc., make up "a mess."
  • Southern folks know the summer weather report before looking: humidity, humidity, HUMIDITY!
  • Only a Southerner can show or point out to you the general direction of "yonder." (For me, everything is "over yonder" lol. Jeremy: "Where did you put the keys?" me: "erm...over yonder")
  • Only a Southerner knows exactly how long "directly" is, "Going to town, be back directly." This word is more properly (in Southern-speak) pronounced "dreckly." (Just yesterday, Ethan had asked me when I was going to be done working on a chore and I said "I'd be there directly." He looked so forlorn and said, "But Mom, how long is that?)
  • Even Southern babies know that "gimme some sugar" is not a request for the white, granular, sweet substance that sits in a pretty little bowl in the middle of the table. It's a synonym for kisses, of course!
  • Only Southerners grow up knowing the difference between "right near" and "a fair piece." They also know that "just down the road" can be 1 mile or 20.
  • No true Southerner would ever assume that the car with the flashing turn signal is actually going to make a turn, nor would a true Southerner expect a turning vehicle to first signal before turning. (a huge pet peeve of mine. I use my signal always, but I think I'm the only one in town who does!)
  • A Southerner knows that "fixin" can be used as a noun, verb, or an adverb. (noun: "having a seafood dinner with all the fixins." verb: "my husband is fixin the van." adverb: "I'm fixin to go to the bank.")
  • Only Southerners make friends while standing in lines (e.g. the grocery store checkout) ... and when we're in line, we don't mind talking to everybody!
  • Southerners know that grits come from corn and they know how to prepare and eat them. (YUM!!)
  • Every Southerner knows tomatoes with eggs, bacon, grits, biscuits and coffee are perfectly wonderful, that red eye gravy is also a breakfast food, that sawmill gravy is different than red eye gravy, and that fried green tomatoes are not a breakfast food.
  • When you hear someone say, "Well, I caught myself lookin'," you know you are in the presence of a genuine Southerner! (my husband's favorite phrase is "I caught myself lookin', thinkin', wonderin', or whatever else)
  • A true Southerner knows that you don't scream obscenities at little old ladies who drive 30 MPH on the highway. You just say, "Bless her heart..." and go your own way.
  • A true Southerner will always use "Sir" or "Ma'am" when speaking to his parents, grandparents, or any other adult one generation older than he is.
  • For a Southerner, the only thing that beats going to a barbecue is going to a peanut boil!

5 edifying expressions:

Sarah said...

What a fun post Elizabeth! I'll admit though, that for most of it, I had NO idea what you were talking about!

Thank you for the link-up!

...Now off I go to google: conniption fit, a fair piece, grits,
red eye gravy, sawmill gravy and peanut boil!!! Haha!!! ;)

Twinkle Toes said...

Love it! :D

Aliene said...

Yep! us southerns how fur you have to go to Mama's house to get that good red eye gravy. Gonna get there dreckly! Jeet jet? (Did you eat yet.)

Yep, we shore have our own lingo.
Feel sorry for you that don't understand. I got it all, Elisabeth.
"Cause I'm sho nuf from the south.

Mrs. Mobunny said...

I am from Central Kansas....not exactly a REAL Southern state.....but now I live south of Houston. I'm glad I know what all those things mean. I'm very happy here. Humidity and all.

Bobbin Aubins said...

That was cute:-) Just noted your baby ticker, WOW, only 6+ weeks or so to go. How exciting! Enjoy the last bit of your pregnancy:-)